♥ Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Outfit: Orange Hoodie & Pants. (I look like a "bdk Hip-Hop Sesat")
Mood: Not bad
Fortune: Don't Spill Your Guts because that's a mess that no one wants to Clean Up.
Okay, Umm.. Speaking of, "I can't afford to miss any lessons in School" , turns on I "Ditched" School last Friday. I wasn't actually Ditching school, well.. Sort of. So I was in the LRT already when that big bang happened in my head again and the world starts spinning around me. I swore I almost threw up at the lady in front of me. Lucky again, the LRT already arrived at Chua Chu Kang. Got off to the bustop, walking like a drunk ed fool, and the 307 bus went pass. That's when I gave up. Called mom and told her I was on my way back, Then go Doctor. Then Doctor made me see a Physchologist. What? I just need help, don't think that I'm Mentally Ill. Its not funny, seriously. What if your relative is the one suffering? Most probably you heartless people don't fucking care anyway. But Think.
Today at school, nothing much happened. My mom already told my teacher about it, so yeah.. I just hope my teacher won't ask me in front of the whole class. Its not about being embarrassed, its just that some of my classmates just think its OK to "Interview" me on_____. I really feel agitated when Literature class began. Some of my classmates were like, "Ehh, like you right?" when teacher is talking about Saloma -_- FOR GOODNESS SAKE I'M NOT CONFIRMED AS Either SCHIZOPHRENIC or AUTISTIC. Just suspected. Like none of you ever feel very depressed? I bet you people are far more worse than Depressed. Anyway, Okay my point is. PLEASE stop asking me or looking at me in a certain way, IT FREAKS ME OUT. If you think there's a need to SAY SOMETHING about my "Sickness" you can always tell me when im alone or just simply Whisper. No need to ask out loud. OKAY? CLEAR?
After School, Danial Botak! Treated us all PIZZA! Yummy! :) Thank You, & Happy belated B'Day! Sometimes its wierd when Instead of people treatin the B'day Boy/Girl The 'day Boy/Girl treats us all. But I guess its alwys been like that. Heh.
Now Im Startin to Wonder if my freinds/ Strangers are gonna wish me a simple "Happy B'day" That is, If they Knew or Remembered In the first palce! Plus, the date after my B'day is gonna be our MT O'lvl oral, I think. Ya, Its either oral or Written paper. Damn.. Why must I born on the month of May. I wanted 30th April instead of 30th May. Nvm uhh, STEVEN GERRARD same bday with me! HAHA!
Okay, Toodles. (LOL Toodles?)
blogged @ 12:57 AM
♥ Thursday, January 14, 2010
I Don't Know!
Over-Sized T-shirt.. Its big enough to touch my knees.Hair:
Blah.. can la..Fortune:
Meet you at the other side, Okay?
Alright, First of.. let me just warn you that this post is gonna be pretty draggy and Emotional?
Whatever. Let me see, Oh yes. I think I'm doomed. I think I might be a little bit "Off-Center".
Not because I'm too engrossed in My Literature, but for some reason I just think I am.
I'm in the damn band 7 for English class, & my mom is yet to find out.
I don't know what to tell her If she knew.. I'm good in Literature but bad in English, How weird.
And I'm telling you I feel like shit every time during English lesson.. Simple reason being that there are lots of FOREIGNERS..from CHINA. I'm not complying that I have anything against Chinese, but then.. seriously man, like WHAT THE FUCK! I feel like a freaking Alien whom is clueless about English in the first place!
Why feel "Off-Center"?
Well, recently my mind is playing tricks on me. I am really hearing voices. Am I Schizophrenic?
No, I don't know & I don't want to be one. The next morning, around 2am I hear a voice asking me to wake up, or it will Kill My cat. I was wide awake then. I took koko and hid her under my blanket. LOL. It was very frightening, I didn't even dare to get out of bed. Then, out of a sudden I just burst into tears. I don't know what's the problem with me, Really. I just cried and cried and ended up Crying myself to sleep. At first I wanted to call Ideal<3,> Okay! Although I'd admit that I still wish I was hearing his voice telling me everything is going to be okay, and that I should hang on.
Okay so anyway, I woke up at 6.30 am then.. and obviously I was running late. I got angry with my mom for waking me up late, but of course, I didn't show her that I was angry, its more like an "inside-Feeling" And I was even more angry with Zacky as he was taking his own bloody sweet time bathing, and I had to scream & Shout & Bang the Door in the morning just to REMIND him that he has to hurry or He'll definitely get it from me if I was late for school.
Heh! And lucky enough I wasn't late for school..even though I only left the house at 7.02 am and took the 7.08 am LRT..and then took the 7.22 am Bus. LOL SO DETAILED.
So yea, By the time I reach school.. getting ready for the first lesson, I felt like the Right Side of my head got smashed right into a wall. The stinging pain was unbearable but I just kept quiet, I bit down my tounge just to keep quiet actually.
And the pain just went on and on and on until I get back home and just cried and cried and cried and The pain got even worse! Clever Right.. Heh.
So basically I was just lying on my bed and crying and screaming in pain while textin Ideal<3..sempat, align="center">Mom: Eera, What Happen?
Me: (Looks up) *Sigh*
Mom: Tired? Why? Whats Wrong?
Me: Don't know.
Mom: Donnoe then cry until Like this?
Me: Nothing la..
Mom: What's wrong? Org carik psl pat Sch?
Me: No laa, alamak.. Its just that I'm scared.
Mom: Scared of? Tell me, not ready to tell me now tell me later..
Me: I'm hearing voices, and my bloody head hurts so fucking much!
Mom: Ahh..Mulot..Voices. Head Hurts. Okay, lets bring you to the doctor.
Me: Don't want!
Mom: Then what you expect me to do? Bring Oliver Sykes here?
Me: Mrepek laa, sempat buat lawak.
Mom: Abeh ape? Nak bawak py doctor taknak. Bukanyr doctor tu makan kau.
Me: Tau la, what if he "Declared" me as gila?
Mom: Ishh! Jng Ckp gitu la..You okay or not? Ckp btol2..
Me: I DON'T KNOW! I'M BLANK, NOTHING. EMPTY..CANNOT THINK!
Mom: Relax, just try to relax. I understand that you're tired tmr I...
And I didn't hear the rest as I fainted.
& I wasn't supposed to come to school today, But I had to. I can't afford to miss any lessons.
So yea, and My tuition teacher was kind enough to change my tuition for this week on Saturday instead.. Cause she thinks I still need some time before I can adapt to my surroundings.
&& BTW, We had A very emotional art lesson today, & guess who started it?
Maybe I'll tell you guys about that for the next post, okay. Now I wan't to Sleep while hoping/waiting for Ideal<3
Xoxo, Eera. S
blogged @ 10:47 PM