♥ Thursday, January 14, 2010
I Don't Know!
Outfit: Over-Sized T-shirt.. Its big enough to touch my knees.
Hair: Messy
Mood: Blah.. can la..
Fortune: Meet you at the other side, Okay?
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Alright, First of.. let me just warn you that this post is gonna be pretty draggy and Emotional?
Whatever. Let me see, Oh yes. I think I'm doomed. I think I might be a little bit "Off-Center".
Not because I'm too engrossed in My Literature, but for some reason I just think I am.
I'm in the damn band 7 for English class, & my mom is yet to find out.
I don't know what to tell her If she knew.. I'm good in Literature but bad in English, How weird.
And I'm telling you I feel like shit every time during English lesson.. Simple reason being that there are lots of FOREIGNERS..from CHINA. I'm not complying that I have anything against Chinese, but then.. seriously man, like WHAT THE FUCK! I feel like a freaking Alien whom is clueless about English in the first place!
-_-Pfftt..
Why feel "Off-Center"?
Well, recently my mind is playing tricks on me. I am really hearing voices. Am I Schizophrenic?
No, I don't know & I don't want to be one. The next morning, around 2am I hear a voice asking me to wake up, or it will Kill My cat. I was wide awake then. I took koko and hid her under my blanket. LOL. It was very frightening, I didn't even dare to get out of bed. Then, out of a sudden I just burst into tears. I don't know what's the problem with me, Really. I just cried and cried and ended up Crying myself to sleep. At first I wanted to call Ideal<3,> Okay! Although I'd admit that I still wish I was hearing his voice telling me everything is going to be okay, and that I should hang on.
Okay so anyway, I woke up at 6.30 am then.. and obviously I was running late. I got angry with my mom for waking me up late, but of course, I didn't show her that I was angry, its more like an "inside-Feeling" And I was even more angry with Zacky as he was taking his own bloody sweet time bathing, and I had to scream & Shout & Bang the Door in the morning just to REMIND him that he has to hurry or He'll definitely get it from me if I was late for school.
Heh! And lucky enough I wasn't late for school..even though I only left the house at 7.02 am and took the 7.08 am LRT..and then took the 7.22 am Bus. LOL SO DETAILED.
So yea, By the time I reach school.. getting ready for the first lesson, I felt like the Right Side of my head got smashed right into a wall. The stinging pain was unbearable but I just kept quiet, I bit down my tounge just to keep quiet actually.
And the pain just went on and on and on until I get back home and just cried and cried and cried and The pain got even worse! Clever Right.. Heh.
So basically I was just lying on my bed and crying and screaming in pain while textin Ideal<3..sempat, align="center">Mom: Eera, What Happen?
Me: (Looks up) *Sigh*
Mom: Tired? Why? Whats Wrong?
Me: Don't know.
Mom: Donnoe then cry until Like this?
Me: Nothing la..
Mom: What's wrong? Org carik psl pat Sch?
Me: No laa, alamak.. Its just that I'm scared.
Mom: Scared of? Tell me, not ready to tell me now tell me later..
Me: I'm hearing voices, and my bloody head hurts so fucking much!
Mom: Ahh..Mulot..Voices. Head Hurts. Okay, lets bring you to the doctor.
Me: Don't want!
Mom: Then what you expect me to do? Bring Oliver Sykes here?
Me: Mrepek laa, sempat buat lawak.
Mom: Abeh ape? Nak bawak py doctor taknak. Bukanyr doctor tu makan kau.
Me: Tau la, what if he "Declared" me as gila?
Mom: Ishh! Jng Ckp gitu la..You okay or not? Ckp btol2..
Me: I DON'T KNOW! I'M BLANK, NOTHING. EMPTY..CANNOT THINK!
Mom: Relax, just try to relax. I understand that you're tired tmr I...
And I didn't hear the rest as I fainted.
& I wasn't supposed to come to school today, But I had to. I can't afford to miss any lessons.
So yea, and My tuition teacher was kind enough to change my tuition for this week on Saturday instead.. Cause she thinks I still need some time before I can adapt to my surroundings.
Thanks!:)
&& BTW, We had A very emotional art lesson today, & guess who started it?
ME!
Maybe I'll tell you guys about that for the next post, okay. Now I wan't to Sleep while hoping/waiting for Ideal<3
Xoxo, Eera. S
blogged @ 10:47 PM
