Asphyxiated

♥ Monday, March 22, 2010

ohwell, since u wanan noe so much. Here, my other blog link- www.ithinkim-dropdead-gorgeous.blogspot.com

blogged @ 10:25 PM

♥ Sunday, March 14, 2010

Other

I've got another blog just in case ure wondering why the hell im not even updatin here :D

Wanna know the link? Go find out urself :D

blogged @ 12:28 PM

♥ Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Sick

Outfit: Orange Hoodie & Pants. (I look like a "bdk Hip-Hop Sesat")
Hair: Down
Mood: Not bad
Fortune: Don't Spill Your Guts because that's a mess that no one wants to Clean Up.
........................................................................................................................................................................

Okay, Umm.. Speaking of, "I can't afford to miss any lessons in School" , turns on I "Ditched" School last Friday. I wasn't actually Ditching school, well.. Sort of. So I was in the LRT already when that big bang happened in my head again and the world starts spinning around me. I swore I almost threw up at the lady in front of me. Lucky again, the LRT already arrived at Chua Chu Kang. Got off to the bustop, walking like a drunk ed fool, and the 307 bus went pass. That's when I gave up. Called mom and told her I was on my way back, Then go Doctor. Then Doctor made me see a Physchologist. What? I just need help, don't think that I'm Mentally Ill. Its not funny, seriously. What if your relative is the one suffering? Most probably you heartless people don't fucking care anyway. But Think.

Today at school, nothing much happened. My mom already told my teacher about it, so yeah.. I just hope my teacher won't ask me in front of the whole class. Its not about being embarrassed, its just that some of my classmates just think its OK to "Interview" me on_____. I really feel agitated when Literature class began. Some of my classmates were like, "Ehh, like you right?" when teacher is talking about Saloma -_- FOR GOODNESS SAKE I'M NOT CONFIRMED AS Either SCHIZOPHRENIC or AUTISTIC. Just suspected. Like none of you ever feel very depressed? I bet you people are far more worse than Depressed. Anyway, Okay my point is. PLEASE stop asking me or looking at me in a certain way, IT FREAKS ME OUT. If you think there's a need to SAY SOMETHING about my "Sickness" you can always tell me when im alone or just simply Whisper. No need to ask out loud. OKAY? CLEAR?

After School, Danial Botak! Treated us all PIZZA! Yummy! :) Thank You, & Happy belated B'Day! Sometimes its wierd when Instead of people treatin the B'day Boy/Girl The 'day Boy/Girl treats us all. But I guess its alwys been like that. Heh.

Now Im Startin to Wonder if my freinds/ Strangers are gonna wish me a simple "Happy B'day" That is, If they Knew or Remembered In the first palce! Plus, the date after my B'day is gonna be our MT O'lvl oral, I think. Ya, Its either oral or Written paper. Damn.. Why must I born on the month of May. I wanted 30th April instead of 30th May. Nvm uhh, STEVEN GERRARD same bday with me! HAHA!

Okay, Toodles. (LOL Toodles?)

blogged @ 12:57 AM

♥ Thursday, January 14, 2010

I Don't Know!

Outfit: Over-Sized T-shirt.. Its big enough to touch my knees.
Hair: Messy
Mood: Blah.. can la..
Fortune: Meet you at the other side, Okay?
...............................................................................................................................

Alright, First of.. let me just warn you that this post is gonna be pretty draggy and Emotional?

Whatever. Let me see, Oh yes. I think I'm doomed. I think I might be a little bit "Off-Center".

Not because I'm too engrossed in My Literature, but for some reason I just think I am.

I'm in the damn band 7 for English class, & my mom is yet to find out.

I don't know what to tell her If she knew.. I'm good in Literature but bad in English, How weird.

And I'm telling you I feel like shit every time during English lesson.. Simple reason being that there are lots of FOREIGNERS..from CHINA. I'm not complying that I have anything against Chinese, but then.. seriously man, like WHAT THE FUCK! I feel like a freaking Alien whom is clueless about English in the first place!

-_-Pfftt..

Why feel "Off-Center"?

Well, recently my mind is playing tricks on me. I am really hearing voices. Am I Schizophrenic?

No, I don't know & I don't want to be one. The next morning, around 2am I hear a voice asking me to wake up, or it will Kill My cat. I was wide awake then. I took koko and hid her under my blanket. LOL. It was very frightening, I didn't even dare to get out of bed. Then, out of a sudden I just burst into tears. I don't know what's the problem with me, Really. I just cried and cried and ended up Crying myself to sleep. At first I wanted to call Ideal<3,> Okay! Although I'd admit that I still wish I was hearing his voice telling me everything is going to be okay, and that I should hang on.

Okay so anyway, I woke up at 6.30 am then.. and obviously I was running late. I got angry with my mom for waking me up late, but of course, I didn't show her that I was angry, its more like an "inside-Feeling" And I was even more angry with Zacky as he was taking his own bloody sweet time bathing, and I had to scream & Shout & Bang the Door in the morning just to REMIND him that he has to hurry or He'll definitely get it from me if I was late for school.

Heh! And lucky enough I wasn't late for school..even though I only left the house at 7.02 am and took the 7.08 am LRT..and then took the 7.22 am Bus. LOL SO DETAILED.

So yea, By the time I reach school.. getting ready for the first lesson, I felt like the Right Side of my head got smashed right into a wall. The stinging pain was unbearable but I just kept quiet, I bit down my tounge just to keep quiet actually.

And the pain just went on and on and on until I get back home and just cried and cried and cried and The pain got even worse! Clever Right.. Heh.

So basically I was just lying on my bed and crying and screaming in pain while textin Ideal<3..sempat, align="center">Mom: Eera, What Happen?

Me: (Looks up) *Sigh*

Mom: Tired? Why? Whats Wrong?

Me: Don't know.

Mom: Donnoe then cry until Like this?

Me: Nothing la..

Mom: What's wrong? Org carik psl pat Sch?

Me: No laa, alamak.. Its just that I'm scared.

Mom: Scared of? Tell me, not ready to tell me now tell me later..

Me: I'm hearing voices, and my bloody head hurts so fucking much!

Mom: Ahh..Mulot..Voices. Head Hurts. Okay, lets bring you to the doctor.

Me: Don't want!

Mom: Then what you expect me to do? Bring Oliver Sykes here?

Me: Mrepek laa, sempat buat lawak.

Mom: Abeh ape? Nak bawak py doctor taknak. Bukanyr doctor tu makan kau.

Me: Tau la, what if he "Declared" me as gila?

Mom: Ishh! Jng Ckp gitu la..You okay or not? Ckp btol2..

Me: I DON'T KNOW! I'M BLANK, NOTHING. EMPTY..CANNOT THINK!

Mom: Relax, just try to relax. I understand that you're tired tmr I...

And I didn't hear the rest as I fainted.

& I wasn't supposed to come to school today, But I had to. I can't afford to miss any lessons.

So yea, and My tuition teacher was kind enough to change my tuition for this week on Saturday instead.. Cause she thinks I still need some time before I can adapt to my surroundings.

Thanks!:)

&& BTW, We had A very emotional art lesson today, & guess who started it?

ME!

Maybe I'll tell you guys about that for the next post, okay. Now I wan't to Sleep while hoping/waiting for Ideal<3

Xoxo, Eera. S

blogged @ 10:47 PM

♥

Lek ah

Yaya, First of all.. The Last post before this was just a misunderstanding.. okay? I was being too caught up with myself. Sorry guys!

blogged @ 10:45 PM

♥ Monday, January 11, 2010

Left Out.. Again.

Guess what.. You know, I shouldn't have WAITED for people to INVITE me to come along for anything.. Whatever "outing" there were or something simple like a Poly Open house.
I don't know if ALL of them knew I HAD INTREST to go, but Im sure 1 or 2 of them KNEW.
Is it just because 1 or 2 people who can't seem to get along with me is there means I can't come along?
Or is it just that You think, " Tkpayah Ajak Syahira la.. Aku tak suker klau dier ader" ?
Or is it that you people just FORGOTTEN about your own FREIND.
Its FACINATING to know that a few people can forget aout one particular person, and that 1 Particular person can REMEMBER about that Few.

THE GREAT PART IS WHEN I FOUND OUT ALL ABOUT IT BY MYSELF.
I really cannot understand you know.. why they can forget to at least ASK ME or MXG me..
I don't know what to say anymore, I really feel upset.. want to be angry wat for rite? Over already.. Just upset.. really really upset.
Maybe to you this isnt something to cry over for.. but have you ever feel like you're not needed in the first place? Ever felt what's it like to be left out?
Fun rite?? Frm the moment I step into Regent as a Freshmen some people already "CHOP" my head with a Warning sign.
IDK WHAT THAT IS SO INTIMIDATING ABOUT ME THAT SOME PEOPLE JUST FEEL CHALLENGED BY.

And its always when I wanted to start the new year fresh; and now people are not letting me to live that life..
Haizz.. Thats all laa.. Im really down rite now.. Bye-Bye, Enjoy your great company :)

blogged @ 5:46 PM